The Emotional Healing Process

The Healing Process

Blog post by: Rayna Piazza

The healing process is just that. It’s a process. As you embark on emotional healing be patient with yourself. This is not a “one time” prayer thing. It’s a journey, and a journey worth taking. I encourage you to settle in and let the healing of your heart become a lifestyle.

Here are the steps of the emotional healing process:

  1. Discovery – this is the process of uncovering the root of your pain, thinking about what you’re thinking about, and understanding what lies you believe about yourself
  2. Forgiveness – this is making the choice to continually forgive those who hurt you no matter what the offense; and, making the choice to forgive yourself, read more here
  3. Authority – as you learn your authority in Christ you will not be swayed by opposition because you will know the power you carry
  4. Identity – as a Christian your identity is now in Christ; then, you will know how to stand: (1) in the face of persecution and (2) in the attacks of the enemy
  5. Triggers – uncover why certain situations or relationships offend you and/or why your feelings get hurt; work through your feelings to identify how they correlate to the root of the pain (i.e. This situation/trigger uncovers another lie I believe about the trauma/hurt)
  6. Think About What You’re Thinking About – this is the process of uncovering individual negative thoughts; and, negative self talk associated with the root of your pain
  7. Vows of Your Heart – this is the process of uncovering vows you’ve made to protect yourself from the root of your pain; they usually start with “I will never…” or “I will always…”
  8. Inviting Jesus In – invite Holy Spirit to lead you in vision and in your imagination to go back to the “scene of the crime”; ask Jesus where He was and what His opinion is on the root of your pain
  9. Fasting & Prayer – after all of these steps are done I encourage you to fast and pray; ask Father God to heal your pain; replace the negative beliefs with His truth according to the Word of God/Bible; and asked to be filled with the Holy Spirit
  10. Choosing Life – this is the process of walking out the healing you received during fasting & prayer…it includes making a choice to change your thinking, setting healthy boundaries with others, and continuing to invite the Holy Spirit in to comfort you and guide you in everyday life


Let’s dive in! Answer these questions as honestly as you can…

  • Write your top three childhood dreams: “When I grow up I want to be…”
  • Write three words or phrases that describe your pre-teen childhood years. Examples: Fear, Innocence, Self Awareness/Negative Body Image (somebody making fun of me/teasing me)
  • Name the top three positive experiences that shaped your childhood and teen years.
  • Identify the three most influential people in your childhood and teen years.
  • Recall the top three negative experiences that shaped your childhood and teen years.

Forgiveness Exercise

God created our imagination and He often uses it for our healing. Imagine that your heart has a line of hooks, like the hooks that hang on a wall to hold your keys or a coat. Think about the person you have not forgiven and picture them hanging on the hook on your heart. They are attached to you. Now imagine God’s heart has that same line of hooks and His heart is directly across from your heart.

14 And when you pray, make sure you forgive the faults of others so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you. 15 But if you withhold forgiveness from others, your Father withholds forgiveness from you.”

Matthew 6: 14-15, The Passion Translation

Let’s Make A List

Let’s make a list of the following: (1) the person you need to forgive (2) a detailed description of their offense to you, and (3) the negative emotions associated with their offense. The reason that you are writing down the detailed description of their offense is to be true to your heart and ultimately to completely release the people associated with the offense. If you do not let yourself fully address the pain then you cannot be fully healed. We have to go there and feel the pain in order for it to be released.

Let’s start the forgiveness exercise:

  • Close your eyes and picture the person who offended you (the person you need to forgive). Imagine them sitting in front of you. Ask Jesus to give you the gift of forgiveness.
  • Say a prayer of forgiveness over them and the situation. Release them of the offense. Example prayer: “I forgive you (person) for (detailed description of offense).  You made me feel (name emotions) and I forgive you for that too. I choose to hand you over to God and I choose to forgive you for your offense against me.
  • As you forgive each of your offenders, close your eyes and picture yourself (with your imagination) taking that person off of the hook on your heart. Now place them on God’s hook on His heart. Forgiveness is putting them on God’s hook then fully releasing the emotion to God.
  • Ask God to allow you see that person the way that He sees them. And, remember hurting people hurt people. They hurt you because they were hurt.
  • Now that they are on God’s hook you are free to choose to live without the offense. No longer is unforgiveness bogging you down.
  • If you’re ever reminded of that’s person’s offense, allow yourself to remember putting them on God’s hook and release the offense again. Don’t take the bait to stay offended with them

For more on this topic, check out my forgiveness blog post. 

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