Last Updated on April 24, 2021 by Rayna
In honor of the 2021 national infertility awareness week (April 18th to 24th), I am going to share my experience in this area of my life. I have been on my fertility journey for over five years, which I think qualifies me to speak on the subject. I never wanted to be qualified in this area, but here I am and I feel I have something really valuable to share with you. My journey has shaped and molded me in ways I could never have imagined.
Our journey has taken my husband and I through three miscarriages (I lost each baby at 10 weeks), 5 failed adoptions, and 3 failed IUIs. My husband are back at the fertility clinic as I write this and we have another procedure scheduled on Monday. I have been through the gamut of emotions on my fertility journey and felt everything from anger to unfathomable sadness. The positive pregnancy tests and almost adoptions gave me the highest high and then the miscarriages and not being chosen for adoption would bring on heartache, grief and months of depression. Eventually I arrived at a place of deep-seated trust in Father God but it is not without its sad moments.
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I Hate the Term Infertility
To start, I hate the term infertility. Ugh! Infertility is not at all the journey we are on to have our babies. We are on a journey of FERTILITY! When we go to the clinic, we go to the fertility clinic not the infertility clinic. The term fertility reminds me of the scripture that says to speak those things that are not as though they were.
Therefore it is of faith that it might be according to grace, so that the promise might be sure to all the seed, not only to those who are of the law, but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all (as it is written, “I have made you a father of many nations”) in the presence of Him whom he believed—God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;
Romans 4:16-17, NKJV
Read that again my friend! God gives life to the dead and He call those things which do not exist as though they did. As I read this my faith is ignited with His promises. My heart begins to stand up as it hears God’s truth. This is where I started to realize that my thinking and my belief system (as to whether or not I would birth or adopt my child) is so very important. Learning the truth of God’s word and His promises has been my turning point.
Check Out My Instagram Stories
If you’re on Instagram head over to my stories (@seekinghimtoday) to check out my diatribe on fertility awareness. It’s under my highlights in the section called “My Journey.” My heart for every woman on a fertility journey during this week of awareness is for each of you to be encouraged and strengthened. It is so important for us to remember that we will get to a place where we hold our baby in our arms. God did not call us to trials to harp on our weaknesses but rather to strengthen us.
Just like any trial, we are on this fertility journey to grow. You know where the word says iron sharpens iron? Well, the New King James version says that just like iron sharpens iron a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. If we look at the same scripture in The Passion Translation version of the bible it says that one person sharpens the character of another.
It takes a grinding wheel to sharpen a blade,
Proverbs 27:17, TPT
and so one person sharpens the character of another.
So, what does that mean? Iron sharpens iron basically says when we come in to a hard situation and we have to face the fact that we are not getting what we want right away we can rely on others to sharpen our character. We can take hold of the situation and use it to make our character stronger. We can change our perspective so that the situation builds strength in us rather than letting it break us down. A key part of this journey is the camaraderie and friendships it can create because we all need each other. I hope this blog can be a part of healing in your fertility journey. My prayer is for my story to help heal your heart that same way your story will help someone in the future.
The Hardest Part
The hardest part of this entire fertility journey is thinking that having a baby, whether through adoption, natural conception or IVF, will never happen. What a scary thought!! The thinking that my baby will never be put in my arms is a heart wrenching scenario. However, when I think about what I’m thinking about, I can look back and see I have picked up a negative thinking pattern. When my brain goes to a place of embracing and holding onto negative thoughts, I realize that I have attached myself to a lie of the enemy.
In this case, the lie of the enemy was that I’ll never have a baby. But I have a promise from God (and so do you!) that as Christians we are blessed to be fruitful and multiply.
Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Genesis 1:28 NKJV
If we are to be fruitful and multiply then that does not line up with barrenness. Barrenness would be the opposite of multiplying hence the lie the enemy is trying to get us to believe. I have heard fear described as an acronym meaning false evidence appearing real. The journey of fertility has taught me to overcome my fears by bringing my thoughts to truth according to the word of God. I have learned that if God has blessed me as a Christian to be fruitful, meaning I would produce fruit from my womb, then I need to take hold of that promise and believe it as truth. After all, we, as children of God, are called to fulfill His plans and purposes for our lives. Genesis 1:28 is 100% part of that plan!
You Are In A Season
In your wait, you may be in a season of barrenness but you are not going to stay there. I heard this teaching from Lynette Lewis one time at my church (it was like 10 years ago) and she said, “Do not call dead what is only barren.” This stuck with me. Think of winter and how the trees lose their leaves. In the winter season the trees are barren. However, spring comes every year. And each year the leaves of the tree grow back. Then, the tree grows into its full destiny from God (in season) featuring beautiful green leaves and bearing the fruit God ordained for it to bear. It is the same with our lives. You will bear the fruit God ordains you to bear, but you HAVE to believe it.
Pursuing Fertility
We may be in a season of barrenness as we are pursuing fertility but remember that it is a season and not a destination. A season is temporary. Our lives are cyclical and our lives will continue to move forward as we pray and seek the kingdom of God. I want to encourage you in this season to seek God’s promises for you.
I always find that a good book helps me to find the prayers I need to pray especially in a season of fertility. Here are some good books that I recommend to help you to delve into the promises of God. I have these books myself and each of them has helped me tremendously. Click on the links below or image to purchase.
Prayers for Emotional Wholeness helped me SO MUCH! I was in such an overload of emotions by the second and third year of my journey. I really felt like giving up and this book helped me to process my emotions.
Victory Decrees is an amazing book because it will help you to wield your sword and FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!! Our sword is the word of God and this book will help you to put scripture to your decrees. Highly recommend!
The last book I’m recommending, Supernatural Childbirth, is a testimony book so it carries a powerful anointing for supernatural conception and childbirth. You will not be disappointed!
Do not stand idle but let Father God teach you in this season. Ask God what He has to say on the subject of fertility. If anything, I have gotten in touch very deeply with my emotions during this fertility season. It’s not the way I would have liked to “go there” but now that I’m here I am thankful for all I have learned.
This Journey Will Make You A Better Mom
Ironically, I think this journey will make me a better mother! And, the same goes for you, my friend. Only God can do that. He takes our weakest, ugliest moments and makes them beautiful. Check out what Isaiah 61 says on the subject.
To console those who mourn in Zion,
-Isaiah 61:3, NKJV
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”
God will not only give us beauty for our ashes, He will eventually call us trees of righteousness that He may be glorified. Jesus is using your journey to glorify Him! And, what a beautiful story it will be!! I want to encourage you to stay the course and keep believing. Do not give up! You will have your baby. If you want prayer for a baby reach out to me on Instagram messenger! I’ll stand in faith with YOU!
One Last Thought
Have you ever thought that maybe you’re in a battle for the next generation? You are fighting for your children because of the impact they will make in the world. God has a plan for every child and that includes your children. Take up your sword and fight like a girl! Your babies are coming!!!
If you want to read more about my fertility journey and all that God has taught me in the process check out these other blog posts.
- Hope Realized
- We Have a Choice (wrote this after a failed IUI)
- Raise A Hallelujah
- Prophesy Your Promise (worship to help you believe for your baby!)
Now, let’s get to baby making!! LOL
XOXO,
Rayna
Did this blog post speak to your heart? I hope so! My heart is to reach your heart and share what I have learned in my journey with Jesus. Sign up today to receive my emails featuring the latest from Seeking Him Today by going to our Stay In Touch page.
